[ no — he doubts anything would. to have thought that he was deserving of all the suffering must have been a way to cope with it all; now that it's gone, what is left? ]
I don't think it helps, but I believe he never meant for Lady Jiang to die. [ an unfortunate accident — she should never have left the jinlintai.
he sighs. ]
I also believe some of the blame lays at Jin Guangshan's feet. I was never able to find out just how much of it — everything that happened to the Wen, certainly, as well as Jin Zixun confronting you over the curse. Perhaps even the idea that Da-ge should be killed... sometimes, I wonder what kind of a man San-ge would have been, if he'd never sought for the approval of his father. Or if his father had been a better man.
[ he pauses, taking out his fan, flipping it open as if reflexively. ]
I hated him, you know. More than anyone or anything. But he was my brother, who helped me, cared for me, lied for me. [ his fan is decorated with the perfect image of the unclean realm, seeming almost alive as the fan moves back and forth. ] In the end, I think there were two people San-ge actually cared about, still. Er-ge, of course... and me. He was killed by Er-ge, knowing it was me who'd been behind his downfall.
He died as nothing. He died with nothing. If you do feel hate for him, just know he died having lost everything that ever mattered to him.
no subject
[ no — he doubts anything would. to have thought that he was deserving of all the suffering must have been a way to cope with it all; now that it's gone, what is left? ]
I don't think it helps, but I believe he never meant for Lady Jiang to die. [ an unfortunate accident — she should never have left the jinlintai.
he sighs. ]
I also believe some of the blame lays at Jin Guangshan's feet. I was never able to find out just how much of it — everything that happened to the Wen, certainly, as well as Jin Zixun confronting you over the curse. Perhaps even the idea that Da-ge should be killed... sometimes, I wonder what kind of a man San-ge would have been, if he'd never sought for the approval of his father. Or if his father had been a better man.
[ he pauses, taking out his fan, flipping it open as if reflexively. ]
I hated him, you know. More than anyone or anything. But he was my brother, who helped me, cared for me, lied for me. [ his fan is decorated with the perfect image of the unclean realm, seeming almost alive as the fan moves back and forth. ] In the end, I think there were two people San-ge actually cared about, still. Er-ge, of course... and me. He was killed by Er-ge, knowing it was me who'd been behind his downfall.
He died as nothing. He died with nothing. If you do feel hate for him, just know he died having lost everything that ever mattered to him.